Skip to main content

Appearances


It's funny that we enter this world completely helpless.  We are weak, bald, toothless, unable to control our bowel movements - and are dependent on our parents to care for us completely.  Many of us also leave this world in the same or similar helpless condition.  As we age, we often become weak again, many of us will become bald again and some of us will loose all our teeth - and possibly even be unable to control our bowel movements.  But in between birth and death many of us try to keep up with appearances. 

Life is a funny thing - we enter with nothing - we can leave with nothing - but instead of trying to help others on their journey, many of us will often try to collect as many toys as we can to show-off or try to impress others.   

While I was attending college full-time, I was also working full-time for a bank.  That experience was a real eyeopener for me.  Many people who banked with us who drove Mercedes and wore Armani suits and living in a lavish house - were completely strapped.  From all appearances, they were successful, living it up, and doing better than the rest of us.  But the reality was - they didn't even have a hundred dollars in the bank.  If they lost their job - they would quickly fall behind on their mortgage and car loan.  

On the reverse spectrum, many people who came in and by looking at their car and how they were dressed, I thought they didn't have a dime to their name.  But when I pulled up their account(s) to complete their transaction(s) - many times these people were loaded - but clearly are not flaunting it around.  I remember several of them had duck tape on their car holding it together and it looked like they shopped at K-Mart for their clothes.  But, they had bank accounts that were loaded - we're talking $500k+.  Most of them had numerous accounts, each with at least that amount ($500k) in each account (the bank I worked at would show all the client's accounts - that were owned by the customer whenever you did any transaction - these were not Payable-On-Death (POD) accounts - POD accounts were shown in our system in another section).  

Another thing that often seemed to be the case, is those people who were strapped and trying to keep up with appearances were more often than not frazzled and crazed - they would fly off the handle for the littlest thing and begin screaming and cursing in a heartbeat.  The people who had lots of money, were typically super nice and incredibly friendly.  I do not recall a person who had loads of money ever raising their voice or acting out of sorts. 

This experience really taught me to not make judgments based on appearances.  


Popular posts from this blog

Unknown

Life is a journey.  Sometimes, we are at the top of the world - and other times we are stuck in the valley.  There are times that we feel like we are hopeless, and other times like we are invincible.   
The last couple years have been one of those 'stuck in the valley' kind of years for me.  And while I am not completely hopeless - I am certainly not invincible at this moment.  Lots has happened.  Many things have changed for me over the past couple years - and I am somewhere, where I thought I would never be at this stage in my life.  Actually, I was making it so that I wouldn't have to be here ever again - but sometimes life has a funny way of kicking your ass and forcing you to take a back seat to listen, observe and learn.

I've learned a lot over the past several years - about myself, about my family, and about life in general.  While there are a lot of unknowns for me right now in my life, career, family, and future - I am hoping for the best and I have to admit …

Cancer

I always believed I had a good understanding of cancer and terminal illnesses.  I've read about cancer and terminal illnesses, I have talked to people who have had terminal illnesses, and I have even written reports in school about different terminal illnesses.  But, in all that - reading, writing, and even talking with people who have terminal illnesses.  It still seemed to be an abstract thing for me - I couldn't really grasp it - I couldn't understand it - I didn't know anyone close to me who ever had a terminal illness and perhaps I felt like this is something that couldn't happen to me.  
In the fall of 2015, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer.  It was in his adrenal gland and some other parts of his body and the doctor advised that he has had the cancer for at least a year and a half and he only has about 6 - 12 months to live.  
I was working on a cruise ship at the time, and I received a message on my cell phone from my mom letting me kno…

Decisions

The cruise ship I worked for was a small cruise line that travels the rivers within the United States.  We had about 100 employees on board at any given time and we lost about 25 employees every week - most of them walking off and quitting.  We constantly were hiring and hired about 15 new employees each week.  I actually met my Brazilian friend on the cruise ship.  We noticed each other when she first came on board (I had already been working there for some time) and quickly made a connection.  She hated the job and she wanted to quit early on - but I got her to stay for about three months.  She wanted me to walk off with her - but around that same time frame, I was promoted and making more than double what I was before - so I didn't leave right away.  She didn't have enough money for an airline ticket, so I let her use 25k of my frequent flier miles on American Airlines to get her to Miami - business class.  

The cruise ship was good pay, but the company was sketchy.  It had…